


Drabble: Wade Wakes Up and Doesn't Know Where He Is

by Seasnake



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Amnesia, Drabble, Established Relationship, M/M, sorta time travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:05:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5210396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seasnake/pseuds/Seasnake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Generic: wakes up and doesn't know where he is, plot.<br/>Gift-fic so I didn't spend much time on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drabble: Wade Wakes Up and Doesn't Know Where He Is

Wade was used to waking up in strange places. Once dead, people were comfortable with moving your body around. So the unfamiliar ceiling was nothing new. The soft bed he was lying on was a surprise though. Even stranger, a look around revealed the ceiling to be attached to an oddly domestic bedroom.

[This is new]

(Someone took our shit again) The boxes were online and observant as ever. They were naked on a plastic sheet on a king size bed. “Nice place.” The kind of place he would crash, only clean. 

4 potential exists, a window and three doors. 

(Window)

[Raid the place first]

(Window, there’s sunlight.)

He went to the window, expecting to see a lab or a warehouse. Instead the New York skyline greeted him. “Pretty convincing.” The window opened without trouble and there was familiar urban air when he stuck his head out.

[Must be like the XMen’s danger room]

(Or we’re hallucinating again)

“Easy way to find out.”

(Still naked)

[I told you to raid the place. That door has our name on it]

Yellow was right, one door had his symbol on it. A pair of sweatpants had been left on one chair but the door was more interesting. 

“Whoa, have we finally died and gone to the great taco stand in the sky?”

[We don’t get that lucky. Also, can’t die]

(If we are going someplace it’d be to the barbeque joint in the basement)

The door turned out to be hiding a damn fine walk-in closet full of weapons, swag and all the important things.

(No food)

[Or bombs]

“Most important things.” He left the guns in favor of the pointy things, harder to tamper with. He also grabbed one of the spare uniforms neatly folded on a shelf. It certainly looked like his normal spandex. Fit perfectly when he pulled it on.

The second door was a boring closet, everything looked too small for him anyway. Lights were on behind the third door. He opened it partially and looked out. Keeping with the theme of the bedroom was a living room/great room/ apartment/not an interior designer okay. A kid he didn’t recognize sat on a nearby sofa. Why did supervillians always involve kids? Not cool. Anyway, this girl didn’t seem upset or kidnapped, in fact she looked up at him and smiled.

“Hi, Dad, feeling better?” Wade glanced behind him just to make sure she wasn’t talking to someone else. “What issue did Prof X and Magneto get engaged?” She scrolled through a tablet.

“What?”

[Yeah, I got nothing.]

“I can’t find it. Was it one of the special zero releases?”

“Who do you think I am?”

The girl looked at him with confusion for half a second before figuring it out. “Papa! Dad’s acting weird again!” At her shout a super hot burnette appeared from another room.

(That for us?)

[Yes please]

“We don’t get that lucky.”

“Wade?”

(Hey, that’s us)

[Humma humma]

“You okay?” The man approached him. It was tempting to stab him and be done with it but 1 the beanpole didn’t look particularly threatening 2 he was hot. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“If you know me you know my memory’s not so good.”

(Depends on the author)

[Humma Humma]

“Okay,” the man smiled like he was trying to be comforting. “You’re Wade Wilson, I’m Peter, this is our apartment.”

“Yeah right, you expect us to believe that?”

(This is some lame ass brainwashing attempt)

[Like we’d snag a guy this hot]

“You don’t have to believe me. Just wait a little while until your memories grow back? Don’t go running off yet.”

(He seems used to this)

[So does the kid, look at her, she’s totally ignoring us]

“Is this an alternate universe? Could be, never heard of baldy and magenta being an item.”

“Really?” the girl spoke up. “That would give me a whole new series to collect.” 

“Mayday, you’re not helping,” Peter sighed.

“Wait, you named her Mayday, as in mayday, mayday, we’re all going to our watery graves?”

“Better than being named after a holiday with a pole that represents a giant penis.” The girl beamed when Wade laughed but the man just rolled his eyes at them both.

"May go do your homework, okay?" Peter shooed her out of the room.

"I like her."

"Good because it's a little late to give her back."

"We stole her from somewhere? Where did we steal her from?"

 

"Mutant school.”  
“Wha?” he pointed at the door the girl had left through with disbelief. “No way, she’s too cute.”

“Is Logan the only mutant you know?” Peter smiled at him.

“Eh, what’s she do anyway? Fight crime with a super heavy broadsword and metal bikini? No wait, too young. Metal one piece, she can graduate to a metal bikini.” Peter laughed, who laughed at his jokes?

“Telekinesis, although she mostly uses it to climb walls.”

“Like Spidey?”

Peter gave a strange smile but didn’t say anything. “I’ll make tacos while your brain regenerates.”


End file.
